


Bathtime for Joe

by luvhandlz (lamardeuse)



Category: Dragnet 1967
Genre: Humor, M/M, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-27
Updated: 2010-05-27
Packaged: 2017-10-09 18:11:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/90146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lamardeuse/pseuds/luvhandlz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joe Friday lay in a bath of frothy pink bubbles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bathtime for Joe

**Author's Note:**

> Note from lamardeuse: This is not actually my work, but is written by my partner, who believes in the idea that you can slash anyone. He is a sick man. The frightening thing is that Dragnet 1967, with Jack Webb (Joe Friday) and Harry Morgan (Bill Gannon), is actually pretty damn slashy.

  
Joe Friday lay in a bath of frothy pink bubbles. His right arm was cuffed to the radiator with his regulation handcuffs. Surrounded by glowing candles, he stared lovingly at the photograph of J. Edgar Hoover in a clinging silk teddy. On the photograph was inscribed, "To J With Love from Pooky".

The bathroom door opened and Officer Bill entered, clad only in a pair of leather boxer shorts. The shorts were at least two sizes too small, forcing his manly paunch to hang over the waistband. He had liberated them from the evidence locker two days earlier and worn them ever since.

He crossed to the sink and bent down to splash water on his face; the leather shorts scrunched horribly and the pale globes of his buttocks shone sallowly in the candlelight. Sergeant Friday gazed at this apparition, his chest heaving. He felt a burning in his loins as Office Bill began to noisily gargle at the sink.

"I must have you now!" Joe cried. He leapt from the tub and emitted a plaintive bleat as the forgotten handcuffs checked his headlong rush. His feet flew out from under him and he struck his head on the lip of the tub. The last thing he heard before passing out was:

"Jesus, Joe. If I'd known you were in such a hurry, I wouldn't have gargled."

**Author's Note:**

> First published January 2005.


End file.
